superangrymonkey

Well, they are at it again; PETA is out to stop people from eating fish by calling the delicious little bastards sea kittens. They of course thought it was going to be fantastic idea right up there with calling chicken houses concentration camps. Now I know there was a moral uproar over the fact that these chickens were raised to be killed sold and eaten but did they really think that anyone out there in the world gives a shit one way or the other about delicious fish?

For one, the entire thing is completely crazy. I don’t agree with animal rights activists or organic produce nuts to begin with because if we hadn’t placed so much emphasis on learning to grow food and keep food in a lot of the places in the world that do not have food then we wouldn’t be able to feed even close to the number of people that are on the earth now. So basically PETA’s message about stopping production of any food animal is saying that they care more about the lives of animals than they do about people. It is easy to bitch, complain, and protest when you aren’t starving to death.

Think for a moment about how the world would change if we all became strict vegetarians like PETA wants. First, like I said already the facts are there that a lot of people would just starve. Vegetarianism no matter how hard they will try to convince you otherwise is not a natural human diet; we are omnivores as evidenced by the fact that we have no less than four teeth specifically designed for ripping and tearing meat. Vegetarians have to be very mindful of what they consume in order to maintain a healthy diet and that is something that people who eat a little bit of everything do not have to worry too much about.

Now we have to also think about the number of people who work in the animal slaughter and resale industries. Yeah I think these are dirty jobs that not a lot of people want to acknowledge but don’t these people have families and kids and all of that who are dependent on that check these guys bring home every week so THEY can eat? Where do you animal rights activists propose that they just go and work once you shut down all of the slaughterhouses? Oh yeah, you cry more about the lives of animals than you do about the lives of people, my bad.

A lot of the money you send to PETA every year goes to rescuing animals and they themselves slaughter them. Wait, they call it euthanasia but is there really any difference? PETA and a lot of the extreme animal rights groups take it the extra mile and say that we shouldn’t keep animals as pets. Wait a second, are you fucking kidding me?

Did you know that a dog will not survive without a human being around to take care of them? Packs of wild dogs are around but unless they have the means to be fed somewhere and made sure that their basic needs are met then they aren’t going to make it. So basically PETA is okay with the fact that if the whole world made into law the things they believe then willingly starving millions of dogs is perfectly fine as far as they are concerned? Does that sound like the ethical treatment of animals to you?

Sometimes I have to say that there are people out there who’s worldviews are so inconsistent with reality that I think that maybe a concerned group of citizens should go out there and firebomb one of the PETA buildings, burn it so bad that the only things left in tact are Pamela Anderson’s tits.

I wonder if they did animal testing on those.

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Well, I’m awake but I don’t really know what good ever comes of that. I hate waking up in the morning. There are a lot of people out there in the world who people like to call “morning people” I prefer to call these people “insufferable assholes.” No matter where you go before nine in the morning you are bound to see one of these shit bags and they are bound to remind you that you are just a “Grumpy Gus” and that they love and embrace the morning with the same kind of fervor that a retarded kid does when he decides to lick the windows in his short bus.

When I wake up in the morning I usually stumble down to the corner store to get a cup of coffee. I only drink one and I can’t be bothered to make a pot of the shit for myself because I only ever drink one, the rest just goes to waste. This store serves awesome food. They have a lot of people going in and out of there in the morning and getting breakfast and most of these people are just like me, bleary eyed, groping around for the food they got handed or the coffee in their hands and waiting for the day to end. But I’d say at a ratio of about one in ten there is inevitably a morning person in the room to fuck things up for the rest of us.

This morning there was a new morning person or at least one that I haven’t seen before. This guy said it all in a way that we all didn’t have to. He was in his early thirties I guess and was dressed to impress. Shirt, tie, coat, nice slacks, nice shoes, and the business cut that you see on every neo yuppie shit for brains in the world. Ordinarily I wouldn’t knock the guy for being a success in the business world but today it is morning and I don’t fucking care what any of you think today. He was smiling from ear to ear and warmly greeting everyone, and I mean everyone in the place that made the mistake of making eye contact with him. People were shying away from him because we live in a society where being a cocksmoking morning person is a good thing and we are all conditioned to believe that if you are the type who uses the snooze button that there is something wrong with you but I say nay.

So I was sitting at my little booth and drinking my coffee, literally minding my own business when shirt and tie man with his million dollar smile and his fake joy for mankind HAD to sit across from me with his own cup of coffee while he waited for his food to be done. I switched immediately into passive hostility mode.

“Good morning.” He said with a smile on his face.

“G..mrnnin” I think it must have sounded like that.

“Nice day today.” I hate when people say this, this is not a question they are trying to strong-arm you into agreeing with them that the day is awesome but the morning is never awesome.

I responded with a reptilian sound that could barely be described as guttural, never human, and certainly unholy.

The morning shark seemed to catch onto my lack of enthusiasm and laughed, that fake morning person laugh that they do before they say some ultra annoying phrase about how much sleep you got.

“Didn’t sleep much last night?” He said. What can I say, I know everything.

I stared at him intently. I think I had some half-cooked thought about trying to activate my eye lasers and turning into a puddle of molecularly disenfranchised sludge but alas. Apparently, although my look didn’t kill him it sent him running off like the frolicking morning person that he is.

Assholes.

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Because nothing says I love you like a lawnchair across the back

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Once in awhile I get a comment out here on the internet that makes me both wtf and rofl at the same time. I can’t believe that there are people out there who think that just because I had the audacity to argue with an internet celebrity like The Amazing Atheist that I must be a typical Christian but there you have it. I guess these kids who haven’t been hugged enough by Mommy and Daddy and now are taking it out on God for not being able to fill the vacuous hole that is their existence have to thgen paint everyone as the same Bible toting antagonist to something that they are both too young and too naïve to really understand.

I think parents should beat the shit out of these kids. Moms and dads out there if your kid comes out and tells you that he or she is an atheist for any reason knowing that the reaction incited in you will be anything less than total pride then you have my full sanction to beat the living crap out oif them. People honestly seem to believe that Atheism is something you need to get worked up over and you can see it in the way these morons cling to anyone who clings to no deity at all. So you can fucking argue with a moron because he pretty much believes in a fairy tale, does that make you the king of the fucking world?

I never really understood the importance that Atheists put on coming out when they know that it will hurt the people that love them. It sounds a little bit like self harm to me.

So on one hand I am a typical Christian according to the average youtube commentator and then I am also liberal and a republican depending on the source and I have received comments suggesting both in about equal measure.

Idiots.

Then last but not least there seems to be a major issue of entitlement that people have when they comment on my videos that people seem to get the idea in their heads that the best thing they can do is try to debate me. Do I look like a debater? Did I ever say that I wanted to debate you? Did I ever even once try to tell someone that I wanted to debate them? No. You know why? Because debate is a popularity contest and not at all important.

Look at my video responses to the Amazing Atheist. How many times can you type out that potty mouth around kids is bad when you are commenting on a video with a comment laden with profanity free for any child to read? First, language is language so words are just words. Grow up faggots.

The internet psychiatrists are hard at work but you know I may have been able to see the point and remove my video the first comment I got and since then the kids are safely away when I scream at my camera as a joke… and they know it. Now that video I keep up out of spite.

Douchebags.

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