superangrymonkey

Douchebags

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…I hate Baskin.

…I hate this website.

…I hate you all.

This movie was physically painful to watch as well as psychologically taxing. I feel older and less intelligent for having put up this 90 minute cinematic abomination. This movie is the perfect example of a little thing TVTropes likes to call the “Idiot Plot.” It can only occur to begin with because every single fucking character in the movie is a moron.

The only person in the main cast that approaches funny is DJ Qualls, and he still doesn’t get it. The only person in this movie who was funny was Jeff Dunham, who plays himself with a different name for about two minutes. The banditos kidnap him from a hotel in Cancun and make him perform for them at gunpoint with his puppet, Jose Jalapeno On A Stick. Jeff keeps trying to keep his captors entertained while Jose keeps cracking Mexican jokes until the gang’s leader shoots the puppet and Jeff passes out from shock. I hope he got paid more than everyone else in this shitfest did. He was certainly a lot funnier.

At least it didn’t show me Larry’s asscrack…again…

Fuck you, Lionsgate for producing this shit. Fuck you, Bear Aderhold and Thomas F.X. Sullivan for writing it.

And fuck you, Baskin, for making me do this.

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Yeah, that one with Larry the Cable guy.

Surprisingly enough, I’m not really sure this movie deserves to be considered “bad”. Don’t get me wrong, its certainly not a good movie, but aside from a couple completely unnecessary shots of Larry’s asscrack and a man who can’t ever seem to grasp the idea of a shirt with sleeves being employed as a health inspector, it doesn’t really have anything dragging it into the dirt.

The writing doesn’t suck, the production itself was competently done and nobody in the cast really sucks at acting(most of them aren’t exactly good at it, though, either). C- work, really.

Wait, what am I talking about? They showed me Larry the Cable Guy’s asscrack. Twice.

Fuck this movie!

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Got Beef? Suck my dick

Show tonight at Midnight Eastern on blogTV. Shit just got real dawg.

http://www.blogtv.com/people/superangrymonkey

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