Timmy The Ogre Headed Baby

Timmybaby

Once upon a time there was a boy named Timmy. Timmy was a special boy from the moment he was born.

junkie

The doctors blamed Timmy’s gift on all of the chemicals she’d illegally injested during her pregnancy but it was apparent to anyone really in the know that Timmy was a godsend.

Timmy

By the time he was 12 Timmy had grown to over eight feet in height and had a full beard and a gigantic Ogre head. He was also about as smart as a turnip and had a face only a mother could love.

shed

She did seem to love it, with hammers, and pans, and Timmy could even hear the love in her voice when she’d lock him in the shed for days on end.

conan\

When he became an adult he tried out to be the new Conan

sock

But even a sock wasn’t enough to make Timmy’s unimpressive manhood appear intimidating or barbaric so he was shown the door

suicide

Timmy found no relief for a long time, after years of being treated like a freak he decided to end it all

babysitter

Just then a blind woman offered him a job watching her children and although she insisted on calling him Rita Timmy was happy he found a good job. And when one of the kids got lippy Timmy got to eat them.

The end.

A Discussion On Acts Of Pure Stupidity

So today I discussed the pros and cons of drunkenly picking a fight with a guy three times your size. We seem to have come to the conclusion that given the evidence it is a really, really stupid idea.

I’ll do something smart tomorrow, Tuesdays are for story time.